multi-mode

dynamic analysis. tila nagfe-fail ako. kapagod.

not how to relax

it is a calm sunday. i think i woke up to a good morning.

the day is not so good as there are lots to be done and i am “recharging” for crunch time. good luck.

and now, i just received text that our high school principal just passed away. may he rest in peace.

it’s midday. there are lots of hours left to make the weekend better. i still haven’t had that wonderful weekend feeling i’ve been longing for for a long time.

tabla

patas nga ba ang mundo? siguro. pero mahirap. at malungkot. nasayang na naman ang isang araw. miserable na naman ako.

no fridays

there’s something sad about fridays. i actually wished fridays don’t have to happen. i hope i can find a reason to want fridays again.

gerry’s birthday

salamat kina mike, angel, venus, dian, at lui kahit syempre, hindi nila nababasa ito. hehe. medyo kulang lang din. tapos pukpok pa sa trabaho. buti kahit papaano, may nakikita akong maliit na liwanag (dummy members imbis na dummy plates). pero matindi pa ang laban. dapat tapusin. dapat panalunin.

late early

late for a meeting and early home. not so productive. another calm before another storm?

i hope tomorrow’s gonna be fun and good.

oh, fun thing today, i found the flash drive i lost last december 2009 during our Christmas party at the office.

sweet, sour, salty cake

madaling-araw na ako nakatulog sa paggawa ng wallpaper at pag-backtrack sa mga band activities. pampaalis ng isip sa ilang bagay. although sana sa mas kapaki-pakinabang na paraan ko na lang ginamit ang oras ko. parang ngayon. hehe.

nagdala ako ng cake—tirang cheesecake nung nakaraang ubos pagkain night noong at wedding cake nung sabado—sa office. marami namang natuwa.

walang signal ang sun noong umaga. may mga hindi rin ako sinagot na tawag sa globe noong umaga at hapon. nitong gabi, naubusan pala ako ng load sa smart dahil hindi ko naalalang expired na ang unli at naubos ko ang 40+ pesos at 30+ free texts mula kahapon ng hapon.

rodic’s lunch and dinner pero kumain pa rin ako ng pasta dito sa bahay kanina bago magrosaryo. gutom, e.

kung titingnan, parang petiks. siguro hindi naaayon sa bigat at hirap ng problema na kaharap ko sa mga staad model ko. mahigit kalahating taon na palang problema ito. bukas, sana malaking tulong na naman para malutas. at sana pinakamalaking tulong na para makain ang ayaw maubos at matapos na problema. gusto kong mag-enjoy sa huwebes.

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sumalangit nawa ang kaluluwa ng mga namatay sa pagsabog kanina ng isang bus sa edsa. sana mabigyang hustisya ang mga biktima at hindi na magkaroon ng dahilan para maulit pa ang ganitong pangyayari.

hold it, wait

suspense? i don’t know. somehow not a lot was accomplished today. that makes tomorrow a bit less to look forward to.

trauma of the day: rose thrown into the waste basket. wow. but things look to be in place as far as that is concerned.

went home early today and had some more good leftovers. filling. ate seems to be missing us. can’t say we’re not missing her.

did some tagging and chatting (though there was a quite problematic connection) on facebook. oh, and i noticed i used my netbook downstairs.

i don’t know what to make of mama’s test results. and as before, we leave her condition in the Lord’s hands.

piyesta

piyesta ngayon ni San Ildefonso pero halos tulog ako. gabi na nga ako nakasimba.

at patapos na ang linggo. unang araw nina ate at buds na mag-asawa. pagkasimba nila dito, umuwi na sila sa cavite. nung nagrorosaryo kami nina mama at papa, si mama, niiyak. medyo tatahimik dito. ok lang, pupunta-punta pa rin naman sila dito, e.

bukas, lunes na naman. medyo nag-ayos ako kanina dito sa kwarto ko kaso hindi ko pa rin mapansin. haha. bukas, marami pang dapat ayusin sa mundo ko.

happy ending/beginning

wedding… my sister is now mrs. conti.

tiring day, can’t deny the stress, in the end, it was a happy day. more happy days to come.

mobile internet

wokey. dahil hindi magamit ang wifi dito, sinubukan ko ang internet sa mga cellphone ko.

unang subok, globe sa myphone, failed.

pangalawang subok, smart sa sony ericsson, successful. 10pesos per 30 minutes. mahal medyo sayang dahil ang balak ko lang namang gawin at magpadala ng email. ibang magandang gawin, hanapin ang settings para sa globe.

pinalitan ko ang apn mula sa http.globe.com.ph sa www.globe.com.ph. gumana. nag-overlap. sayang. oh well.

di ko na-post agad. fail ang globe. medyo. napagamit ako ng 10pesos para bago ko napalitan ang proxy. oh well. 5pesos per 15 minutes. mas tipid, mas kontrolado mula ngayon. charge to experience na lang yung 10.

getting ready… getting ready…

big day for my sister tomorrow and i’m still getting ready for my part.

preparations

malapit na, dalawang araw na lang, ikakasal na si ate.

nakabili na ako ng susuotin ko. pagupit na lang ng buhok ang kulang sa igagayak ko. pagdating sa tutugtugin, kailangan pa ng ensayo.

malapit na. hindi ko alam kung ano pang masasabi ko, kung may kaya ba akong sabihin. basta, malapit na ang isa sa pinakamasayang araw sa buhay ng ate ko.

umuulan pala kaya maginaw

although i really can’t think of or make up the significance of the rain today.

woke up late and spent the morning at home. had lunch at the office. had a long meeting at the site office until the evening started.

nothing much. well, nothing much to be excited about. there were some text messages though, some on how things should be to keep some good that’s been lost, and some on how things could happen to see something new and hopefully good. and there were some on stress and releasing stress.

dinner, though late, was nice and some tv was a bit entertaining.

so much for today. pretty random. pretty laid back yet foreshadowing.

break

di ko mapaliwanag yung kakulangan ng saya sa isa sa pinakamasayang araw dapat ng taon.

hindi naman siguro ganoon kasama pero hindi rin naman kasi ganoon kasaya na ma-break yung nakasanayan ko na iyong mga pinakamahalaga lang sa akin ang nakakaalam ng isa sa pinakamasayang araw ko sa taon. mas masarap kasi ang sayang dulot.

sa trabaho, hindi pa rin mawala yung problema. parang nadaragdagan lang o ganun na nga talaga kalaki at karami. hindi rin makakaila ang natitirang sakit at lungkot. walang pambawi.

pero masaya pa rin naman. masarap at nakakabusog ang pagkain at kwentuhan. nakakaaliw din na kahit kulang, naiintindihan naman at nasasakto pa ngang anim kaming magkakabarkada. di rin mawawala ang sarap na makasama ang pamilya.

oo, sige, hindi siguro ito ang pinakamasaya. sana nga hindi ito dahil sana may mga mas masayang lalo kaysa ngayon. pero hindi naman naalis ang saya. isa iyon sa maraming dapat ipagpasalamat sa Kanya.

worst

although there were good hours, i think i did have one of the worst weekends ever.

today, monday, i think i was off to a good restart.

dry cough

i got dry cough. haha. i think it’s partly due to the pressure at work and other matters i can’t attend to because of tiredness from work.

i hate it that i was a bit pissed for apparently no reason at all in the morning. it was also difficult appearing to not know what i’m doing. i need to change and project more of that confidence. i’ll have to gain it in the first place, though.

the afternoon was light. too light i think aside from the number of phonecalls and texts at one point. distracting.

i felt there was to be a rather easy afternoon given lunch break, i got a down payment. haha. problem is, when i’ll actually get down to doing the project. hoping for the best. and speaking of best, i took the violent(?) reaction from architect chris when he heard the old news about me. i also got the same from sir roland the other day.

big day tomorrow. i honestly am not prepared yet. good luck. blame it a bit on nfs undercover (i have the r8, gt-r, and murciélago already) and nfs world (enjoying my current 1 win winning streak).

approximate

iba ang bigkas niyan depende kung pangngalan o pang-uri ang gamit. word of the afternoon. sunod siguro yung execute. execute. execute.

halos buong araw nasa meeting at papunta-punta sa pwesto para mag-adjust. technically, hindi nakakatuwa.

ang sarap pag natapos na ang problema. kung tutuusin, apat na buwan nang inaantay matapos. apat na buwan na kasing dapat tapos.

bday ngayon ni judith at ni mike at kanina ko lang nalaman na bday din ni gia. aliw, andami. next week, good luck. di ko talaga matantsa.

1/11/11

i have to finish somethings to start other things. yeah, it may be the eleventh day of the eleventh year of the millenium. (tama ba, 2001 yung first year?) well, eleven is written as two ones. well, maybe it means i should start a lot of things. hmm.. i wonder how it would be 10 months from now.

you can’t win `em all

tatlong race sa nfs world ngayong gabi, sa pangatlo natalo. kung tutuusin, hindi kagandahan yung pangalawang panalo although on the defense naman ako noong may nangyaring collision. tapos too good to be true pala talaga yung early lead sa first lap nung pangatlo.

lazy monday sa trabaho. may bagyong darating kung hindi ko mapipigilan. ako rin naman ang nag-contribute sa paggawa ng calm before the storm.

nabanggit ko ngayong gabi na tila tumigil ang mundo ko. hindi ko pa rin napapagalaw. tinatamad ata ako. tinatamad nga.

quote of the day: ako a2 22 na? Kasi kahapon 23 e.. Hahaha! :p

kung tutuusin, ako, hindi ako naging conscious sa kung ilang taon ako. pero kapag nakakahagilap ng matagal nang kaibigan, masarap bumalik. masarap sigurong bumata uli kung kasama nun ay ang pagbalik ng mga masayang nagdaan.

araw-araw, hinihintay ko ang sarili kong tumulak pa. hindi na pwedeng bumalik. hindi rin sapat na nakatigil lang. ewan. pero sabi nga, kaya yan!

un-

some things like happy moments, you just can’t forget. some things like stress, you just don’t want to think of. and on that note, i don’t want to think of it. hahaha.

i guess it’s unfair or simply sad that happy times aren’t remembered or celebrated because those times belong to the past already and are no longer the foundations of the future. but maybe it’s also just as sad to remember or be reminded. so today, i uncelebrate. let this be the first and last unniversary.

today, i just remembered, was lolo daddy’s birthday. it’s also the feast of the Black Nazarene. “Quiapo day.” some memories there, too. some not mine actually. something about memories. they are meant to be kept but not to hold us back. it crosssed my mind, and i am considerring it. a devotion could work for me. also, to carry on something done by devotees,—important men—who have passed away.

and speaking of memories, i can’t remember when i got that hg 1/100 wing zero custom special operation type. and the mg 1/100 wing gundam ver. ka. last friday, i bought the mg 1/100 deathscythe ew ver. they’re stacked now, unbuilt. as i told cara, i should have these, at least the 2 mg’s done by march. i think i already have a place for them and upcoming 3—where my desk fan is now. i think my wallet just got hurt.

my desk fan stopped working already. it needs a “jumpstart” for the fan to spin (slower than it’s been) and quits swiveling. it could have been because i tilted it downward and put it on steady last night(?). i have mama’s stand fan now. i think i’ll manage with a stand fan. i remember having a deskfan ever since.

last day of the Christmas season. tsk. not the best day for me. it’s actually on the lower end of good. what’s left to do? i know the answer, i just lack the action. but hey, at least knowing is a start right? move on to better tomorrows.

i’d rather not sleep

kaninang tanghali, nakatulog ako at pagkagising ko, pagod ako. hindi ko maalala yung panaginip ko pero nakakapagod at tila medyo mabigat sa kalooban. nung hapon, natulog uli ako at pagkagising, naalala ko naman nang konti yung napanaginipan ko. nakakapagod at may lungkot din.

naisip ko, sabado nga pala ako pinanganak. sabi ko nga noon kina cara at sunny, ang birthday ko ay january saturday. ngayon, hindi ko ma-enjoy ang sabado. kulang na ako sa willpower para gawin ang mga dapat. tapos todo stress pa galing sa trabaho.

isang pangarap, sana ma-enjoy ko uli ang mga sabado. hindi lang isang sabadong masaya kundi mga sabadong masaya. next week kaya, pwede nang magsimula?

high rise

well, not yet there. i have to admit i’m excited about a high rise building project even though it’s just a peer review. actually, i think i could say it’s as good as designing.

as far as other stuff in my life and the trend of things getting better, it’s still getting there.

what comes after good

good, better, best. ganun ang trend. dapat. hindi kagandahan ang umaga ko. tanghali pumasok. pero masarap din yung pressure, mas may nagagawa. yun nga lang, hindi pa rin natapos ang dapat tapusin.

sa ibang aspeto naman ng buhay ko, ayun, kahit ilang text lang, mukhang ok naman kami ni best ko. medyo nakakatawa na ngayon kami nagiging magkasundo ni ryan. sana, maging maayos sila.

pauwi, dumaan akong red ribbon para sa cake sa kasal ni ate. at dahil offline ang credit card transaction, tsaka na lang. medyo nakakapagod.

pag-uwi, naasikaso ko na yung sa azure. medyo. presyo pa lang. bukas, dapat yung isa naman. smaller, more managable. lapitin ako ng swimming pool, ah. haha.

medyo sumakit ang ulo ko. buti may white flower at medicol. haha. ngayon ko lang napansin, may sarap yung gabi dahil ngayon na lang uli ako nakapagrosaryo kasama ng pamilya matapos ang dalawang gabi yata.

good day. tapat ituloy ang trend.

sick leave

not getting better with the “headache and stomach ache”, i went home this afternoon.

there are just things (at work and outside) that i could not get and solve.

i guess i’m faking my smiles. come to think of it, it’s been six months now that i’ve been sad. yes, i do appreciate some moments of happiness, but nope, not as happy as i could be.

things have got to change. things have to get better.

ganito kahirap

hindi mabuti ang simula ng araw ko. gumandang konti pero wala. mahirap.

silver and gold

“make new friends but keep the old / those are silver, these are gold.” –TRIX

had a nice chat with a new contact online. knowing people online isn’t that bad after all. not bad, not bad at all. today had a few cheerful moments at the ene cad room (chit-chat here, fist bump there), and a ride home with a friend felt more fun than a walk alone.

i’ve been chatting with a good friend from college recently and it feels good. i found out today that i came across a college acquaintance that also held back on saying hi because she also wasn’t sure. just a while ago, i had 2 ym windows open (one linked with facebook chat thanks to YM11 beta). they’re of friends’ i’ve spent a lot of time chatting with before. i haven’t in a long time.

above all, i think i still am in touch with my best as her best, though there’s still this problem that i want to see solved.

as for work, it was stressful today. tsk. hahaha. tomorrow’s some minutes away. i hope something new and something old would both be good tomorrow.

eat n run

late gumising, late sa party na nagstart din naman nang late. sibat maaga para umabot sa family movie time. yes, umabot!

nakaka-miss din yung mrt trips. medyo. narealize ko, medyo maganda ang pakiramdam pag naaalala yung papuntang north ave pero yung pauwi, hindi.

hindi sana ako sasama sa merienda sa dad’s pero dahil maaga pa para sa Misa sa greenbelt, bumalik ako at sinamahan ang mga magulang at kapatid ko. ok rin, pero hindi pa rin talaga ako matuwa sa lugar.

memories, not so good ones. maaaring magpatawad, pero parang sugat, kahit hindi mo na isipin kung anong dahilan, hangga’t hindi gumagaling, humahapdi.

siguro ang weird at random ngayong araw na ito, nakasalubong ko si thad papuntang sm makati. na-ninja ako, tinawag pangalan ko. napansin ko na lang nung lumampas na. tapos nakita ko uli sa sm.

may pasok na uli bukas. hindi ko pa rin matanggap. hahaha.

startup

the ang/chua family reunion kick-starts the year. it may be quite short and a bit noisy for my taste (then again, i do have a low limit for loudness), i can’t deny it being fun, especially with a game for the oldies this time around.

the easy traffic also made it a good time to visit ninang fro and lolo tatay at loyola memorial park.

i guess the first regret this year would be spending the afternoon watching a pretty lame movie. last year, after the reunion, i went bowling with friends and a movie date after. didn’t have the chance to do that today.

the quite atmosphere got me thinking again. thanks to the good mood around, i got some good thinking. there should be no reason to feel hopeless this year. gotta claim the blessings in store for me.

interesting. maybe i’ll try my best to update these two blogs daily.